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My Cynic Eyes
© 1992, Roy Stucky

Through all the weeping scars that my trust had to earn,
Through all the bitter times my old heart has been burned,
You'd think by now my head at least finally would learn
That all I've ever heard were lies.

Pandora did you know that the gift had a catch?
Pandora did you know that a curse was attached?
Why did you crack the door without checking the latch
Through hard road clinic cynic eyes?

My Cynic Eyes
See nothing right.
My Cynic Eyes
Are full of spite.
My Cynic Eyes
Can't stand the light.
My Cynic Eyes
See nothing right.

My logic says to guard against wolves wearing fleece,
But armor can't produce any genuine peace.
Tonight I saw a little girl's face on TV -
Tormented by a hunger no farmer could feed.

Then cried to find no love in me.

My Cynic Eyes
See nothing right.
My Cynic Eyes
Are full of spite.
My Cynic Eyes
Can't stand the light.
My Cynic Eyes
See nothing right.

Be sly as that old snake and yet pure as the Dove.
Today begin to walk in the wisdom of Love.
No fool that's cut as fodder for liars and thieves -
No heart of icy stone left untouched by our needs.

No doubt from what the eye perceives.

My Cynic Eyes
See nothing right.
My Cynic Eyes
Are full of spite.
My Cynic Eyes
Can't stand the light.
My Cynic Eyes
See nothing right.
There's nothing right
With my cynic sight.

 


My Cynic Eyes looks underneath this thrill seeking to the distrust. The times she has opened the door of her heart to parents and peers and 'friends' have all resulted in torment and betrayal instead of genuine contact. She has locked the door, wrapped herself in bulletproof glass, vowing to never be hurt again. But she finds this means sterile isolation, means the end of feeling anything.

"Heart has been burned" is that repeated betrayal scrapes away our trust in anyone or anything.

"Gift had a catch" is a reference to Pandora discovering even gifts can come with ulterior motives. This also ties to the concept of the Predator album.

"See nothing right" means both 'view everything as corrupt' as well as 'perceive defectively'.

"Can't stand the light" ties back to Curse Of Vision In Hell.

"Logic says" don't be a dupe, don't trust people who will betray that trust. And "wolves wearing fleece" says you can't easily tell who will betray you.

"Armor cannot give any genuine peace" is that trusting no one is no protection. Distrust of everyone means you have nothing left worth stealing, that you are past feeling.

"A little girl's face on TV" ties to Silver Light.

"No farmer could feed" the hunger for love.

"Cried to find no love in me" is the burst of sorrow I felt when I realized I was so wrapped up in my suffered betrayal that this child longing for love would not have found it in me.

"No doubt from what the eye perceives" is faith, believing what God's Word promised more than what my senses detect.

 


"He had gone through the frightful education of social life, of that world where in one evening more crimes are committed in thought and speech than justice ever punishes at the assizes; where jests and clever sayings assassinate the noblest ideas; where no one is counted strong unless his mind sees clear:  and to see clear in that world is to believe in nothing, neither in feelings, nor in men, nor even in events, - for events are falsified. There, to 'see clear' we must weight a friend's purse daily, learn how to keep ourselves adroitly on the top of the wave, cautiously admire nothing, neither works of art nor glorious actions, and remember that self-interest is the mainspring of all things here below."
Honore Balzac


"All mapmakers should place the Mississippi in the same location, and avoid originality."
Saul Bellow


"Now, with this fresh-read Sermon (on the Mount) in his soul, the youth again gazes abroad upon the world.  Instantly, in aggravation of the former solecism, an overpowering sense of the world’s downright positive falsity comes over him; the world seems to lie saturated and soaking with lies."
Herman Melville


The Holy Bible

Honore Balzac
Eugenie Grandet

Saul Bellow
Mr. Sammler's Planet

Herman Melville
Pierre


This lyric was written in 1992.

A big part of this song came while flipping through the channels one night. A documentary on starving children, in Ethiopia if I remember correctly, was on one of the stations. I just clicked to the next channel. Then I realized what I had done, and literally "cried to find no love in me". I'd felt absolutely nothing when seeing that incredible level of suffering. I had become an armor plated cynic, oblivious to both pain and joy. This song helps me remember how tomb-comfortable is such a state.


Pandora
Woman in Greek mythology who opened a box into which she was forbidden to look.  When she did, all the evils which now plague the world escaped before she could shut the lid.